Suicide and Self-Harm

Self-harm is also known as self-injury or self-mutilation. It is the act of deliberately hurting or injuring yourself by cutting, burning, or beating your head or fists against a wall, among other methods. Suicide is the act of ending of one’s own life. The two have very different intentions and outcomes, although people who harm themselves may go on to take their own life.

People who are suicidal feel hopeless, worthless, and are desperate to escape the pain of living. They see no other alternative than ending a life that only promises more suffering. People who harm themselves view their actions as a way of coping with life. The self-infliction of pain helps numb the feeling of being disconnected with the world, and may make them feel alive. Self-harm can also provide a “rush” due to changes in brain chemistry, a highly addictive and dangerous consequence of the practice. Self-injury may generate its own stress, since it is usual kept secret.

Signs & Symptoms

People who self-injure usually prefer to hide their activity, so the symptoms are not usually readily apparent. Your loved one may have this problem if he or she:

• Prefers to wear concealing clothing at all times (such as long sleeves in hot weather)
• Often complains of accidental injury
• Has questionable or numerous scars from cutting or burning
• Possesses sharp objects like razorblades or other instruments used to self- injure

People who are suicidal may give warning signals. They include:

• Threatening to commit suicide
• Talking about having no reason to live, wanting to die or to kill oneself
• A preoccupation with death
• Expressing feelings about being a burden to others
• Acting anxious or behaving recklessly
• Isolation or withdrawal
• Displaying mood swings
• Telling loved ones goodbye
• Settling one's final affairs
• Giving things away, including prized possessions
• Referring to death via poetry, writings and drawings
• Exhibiting extreme changes in personality or appearance

Tips & Recommendations

Most people who self-harm actually do want to stop hurting themselves. To do this, they need to develop new skills for coping and communicating. There are also self-help techniques that can help one forestall the behavior. A nationally-recognized self-harm help program is S.A.F.E. Alternatives (Self-Abuse Finally Ends). This is a professional network and educational resource devoted to helping people stop self-mutilation.

Marriage and Family Therapists (MFTS) can help you or a loved one develop new coping and communication skills that can put an end to self-harm.



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Featured Therapist 

Karen L. Kleckner, MA
Karen L Kleckner, M.A..

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
Walnut Creek, CA

At the core of many personal issues lie old messages of your sense of worth. Those messages conveyed to you while growing-up that minimized your self-esteem. The journey inward toward your past can often be frightening and disheartening. By slowly revisiting the wounded part of yourself, old repetitive behaviors can cease to exist. A new sense of kindness toward yourself will begin to emerge. Allow me to travel with you to discover what is buried deep inside of your soul, exploring what keeps you from becoming all that you want to be.

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